Liam stared at his phone like it had betrayed him.
The screen was blank. Well—not blank exactly. Just… reconfigured. The Instagram icon was gone from the home screen, tucked somewhere deep inside a folder labeled “Maybe.”
That’s what he’d done last night. After talking with Caleb in the breakroom, he hadn’t had the courage to delete the app completely. But hiding it felt like something. Like pulling the plug halfway out of the wall.
Now, lying in bed the next morning, the absence of color, movement, and validation was deafening.
He exhaled slowly and dropped the phone on his nightstand.
Fine. Let’s see what silence has to say.
The walk to the subway felt longer than usual. No podcast playing. No inbox sorting. No half-distracted scroll while pretending not to make eye contact with anyone.
He noticed how the sidewalk smelled faintly of burnt coffee. How pigeons always seemed to own every available bench. How a woman sitting alone at the corner flower stall looked like she hadn’t blinked in a minute.
It wasn’t spiritual.
It was… awake.
He checked his phone three times before 10:00 a.m. and caught himself each time. Thumb twitching. The phantom tap. The muscle memory of distraction.
It was funny. Or sad. Or both.
He’d always thought his stress came from too much work. But now, it seemed just as much came from never being fully present for any of it.
“All things are led by the mind, shaped by the mind, made by the mind…”
He could still hear Caleb’s voice in his head.
“…If the mind is impure, suffering follows like the wheel follows the hoof of the ox.”
Some Buddhist thing. He hadn’t asked for a philosophy lesson over coffee, but the words had stuck. Lodged somewhere behind his eyes.
He didn’t know much about Buddhism. But he did know he was tired of pulling a cart through the mud every damn day.
The office was louder than usual.
Or maybe it was just Liam who was quieter.
He passed by Caleb’s desk on the way to the kitchenette. Caleb was scribbling something on a yellow notepad with a kind of ease that made Liam envious.
“Still off the grid?” Caleb asked, looking up with a knowing smile.
Liam leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “App’s in purgatory. Not deleted—just banished.”
“That counts.”
Liam smirked. “You said something yesterday. About… the first click?”
Caleb nodded, setting his pen down. “The moment before you reach for the thing. Whatever the thing is. That’s where the whole storm starts.”
“Huh.” Liam pulled out his phone, held it in his palm. It felt lighter somehow. “So what, the first click is the first thought?”
“Exactly.” Caleb stood and poured hot water into a paper cup, letting the tea bag float. “It’s the pause before the impulse becomes a pattern. If you can catch that moment—just long enough to notice—you’ve already won something.”
Liam stared at the phone in his hand. Then slid it back into his pocket without turning on the screen.
“Okay,” he said softly. “So I just notice.”
“You just notice.”
That night, Liam didn’t open Instagram.
He didn’t scroll anything, in fact.
He ate dinner in silence and actually tasted it. Sat on the couch and stared out the window for a full ten minutes. Watched the way the apartment lights reflected on the glass of the building across the street. Watched how the city breathed even when he wasn’t watching.
No meditation cushion. No incense. No mantras.
Just… noticing.
And in the smallest way, it felt like peace.
Dhammapada Verses inspired this Chapter
- Yamaka Vagga (The Pairs) – Verse 1 – The Story of the Monk Chakkupala
- Yamaka Vagga (The Pairs) – Verse 2 – The Story of Mattakundali
The Dhammapada
The Dhammapada is the most widely read Buddhist scripture in existence, enjoyed by both Buddhists and non-Buddhists. This classic text of teaching verses from the earliest period of Buddhism in India conveys the philosophical and practical foundations of the Buddhist tradition. The text presents two distinct goals for leading a spiritual life: the first is attaining happiness in this life (or in future lives); the second goal is the achievement of spiritual liberation, freedom, absolute peace. Many of the key themes of the verses are presented in dichotomies or pairs, for example, grief and suffering versus joy; developing the mind instead of being negligent about one’s mental attitude and conduct; virtuous action versus misconduct; and being truthful versus being deceitful. The purpose of these contrasts is, very simply, to describe the difference between what leads to desirable outcomes and what does not.
