A Tale of Stubbornness and Freedom
“He insulted me, he struck me, he defeated me, he stole from me.”
Dhammapada – Yamaka Vagga – Verse 3
If we dwell on these thoughts, hatred will never leave us.
“He insulted me, he struck me, he defeated me, he stole from me.”
Dhammapada – Yamaka Vagga – Verse 4
If we do not dwell on these thoughts, hatred fades away.
The Story: The Stubborn Monk
At the Jetavana Monastery, the Buddha noticed one of the monks crying. His name was Tissa, and he was a relative of the Buddha’s—an older man who had become a monk late in life. Although he was new to monastic life, he acted like he was senior to everyone else.
Tissa loved being shown respect by visiting monks but refused to return the same. He neglected his duties, ignored common courtesies, and often clashed with others. When younger monks corrected him, he would run to the Buddha, tears in his eyes, complaining that everyone was being cruel to him.
One day, the Buddha gently asked, “Tissa, why are you upset?”
Tissa replied, “They insult me. They treat me badly.”
After listening patiently, the Buddha asked a few simple questions:
“Did you greet them when they arrived?”
“Did you help carry their things or make them feel welcome?”
Tissa replied “No” to every question.
The Buddha said, “Then why do you expect kindness when you offer none?” But Tissa refused to admit his fault. He wouldn’t apologize. He clung tightly to his pride and his grievance.
Seeing this, the Buddha told the monks a story from a past life…
A Previous Life of Stubbornness
Long ago, two forest monks—Devala and Nārada—arrived at the same city and asked to sleep in the local potter’s hall. Devala got there first, and when Nārada arrived, he respectfully asked to share the space.
Devala agreed, but when night fell, he laid down in front of the only exit. Later that night, Nārada accidentally stepped on Devala’s hair as he left. Though he apologized sincerely, Devala flew into a rage.
When Nārada returned, he tried to avoid the same mistake—but Devala had changed his position. This time, Nārada accidentally stepped on his neck.
Enraged again, Devala cursed Nārada:
“May your head split into seven pieces at sunrise!”
But Nārada, filled with compassion, used his meditation powers to stop the sun from rising—buying time for peace to be made. In the end, the stubborn Devala had to perform elaborate rituals to escape the curse from backfiring on himself.
The Buddha then revealed:
“In that life, I was Nārada. And Devala… was Tissa.”
Reflection: The Grudge That Never Rests
These verses offer a timeless truth: the pain we cling to becomes the pain we carry.
When we replay in our minds, “They hurt me… They wronged me…” we relive the injury again and again. This mental looping creates a wound that never heals. It turns temporary pain into long-term suffering.
But the Buddha reminds us that letting go is possible. Not by pretending nothing happened—but by choosing not to carry it with us. When we refuse to keep the story of harm alive in our heads, hatred loses its fuel. Peace returns.
Forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s emotional strength.
It means you’ve chosen healing over revenge, peace over pride.
✨ A Thought for the Day
Who are you still arguing with in your head?
What if you stopped feeding that story—just for today?