So Why Are We Still Fighting?
They don’t understand: ‘We too must die one day.’
Dhammapada, Yamaka Vagga – Verse 6
But those who do—let go of their quarrels.
The Story: When Even Monks Quarrel
Once in the city of Kosambi, the community of monks broke into two factions. One group followed a respected teacher of monastic rules. The other followed a learned Dhamma teacher. The disagreement? A minor violation of the rules.
It was small—but their egos made it big.
Soon, tempers flared. Accusations flew. Brothers in robes stopped speaking to each other. The Buddha himself tried to intervene—but they wouldn’t listen. So he quietly left, choosing to spend the vassa (the three-month rainy season retreat) alone in the Pārileyyaka forest, cared for only by a gentle elephant named Pārileyya.
When lay followers in Kosambi learned that the Buddha had left because of the monks’ infighting, they stopped offering food to either side. Ashamed and hungry, the monks eventually made peace—but even then, their supporters remained distant. The community had lost respect.
At the end of the retreat, the monks humbly approached the Buddha, apologized, and asked for his forgiveness.
The Buddha accepted their apology—but reminded them:
“You’re all going to die someday. Why waste time fighting?”
Reflection: The Argument Isn’t Worth It
It’s easy to get caught up in being right. To feel like you have to win the debate. To prove your point, defend your pride, get the last word.
But the Buddha cuts through all that with a simple reminder:
You’re not going to be here forever.
Imagine looking back on your life from your deathbed. Will it matter who won that Facebook argument? Who got credit at work? Whether your partner admitted they were wrong?
Probably not.
But how you loved? How you forgave? That might stay with you.
The monks of Kosambi were supposed to be devoted to peace—yet they let ego drive a wedge through their community. They were so sure of their side that they lost sight of their shared humanity. The Buddha didn’t try to “solve” the argument. He simply walked away. Because death is coming—and we don’t have time to waste on petty fights.
A Thought for the Day
What are you still holding onto from an old disagreement?
If you truly remembered that this life is short—would you still care?